My First Love

BEFORE:

I remember my first love. Someone mentions his name and my heart is suddenly all a-flutter. Actually, it doesn't really have to be his name, all the time, but at any time a name that sounds like his. I did not have 20/20 vision but no matter how dim the lighting, I knew his silhouette. I even knew the very sound of his footsteps.

I remember the first time I saw my newborn child. To my eyes, its red and wrinkly skin was the most beautiful sight to me, more wonderful than all my collections of sketches, artworks and paintings. To my eyes, no other child could be as beautiful, no other child could be as enchanting, no other child could be as angelic as my little cherub. I could sit for hours doing nothing but stare at her.

I remember the first time I "met" God. The very memory of all the wrongs I ever did brought me to tears. Any reminder of all He had to do to redeem me brought me to tears. Even considering to compromise brought me to tears! When I first met God, I cried a lot. But those tears were liberating.

TODAY:

With my love -- What words come out of my mouth the moment the man I love comes striding in that door? Do I even think before I speak? When was the last time I looked at him with adoration, the last time he heard me say I honestly admired him for loving me and for caring for our little family? The last time I hugged him from behind while his attention was locked on the dishes, on his carpentry or on house repairs? When was the last time I said, "I love you, Dear."

With my child -- When was the last time I held her, tickled her and played with her? When was the last time I dropped everything that I may gaze at her and thank God for the wonder of her life? When was the last time she felt that I was, indeed, her mother? When was the last time I told her, "Now don't worry about me. Do your best and do your thing. No matter what happens, I'm your number one fan, Honey!"

With my God -- Does my mind yearn as much to be fed with His word? Does my heart long for His presence still? Are my hands and feet restless to go, to give and to serve in His name? Or have I now become content knowing that I am saved? The service that I have served Him with, are they passionately ongoing... or are they now just memories of the past? When was the last time my soul sang to Him, "Lord, I want to know You more. Deep within my soul I want to know You. Lord, I want to know You more." 

Lord, bring me back to my first love. Let me gaze into the eyes of my love with sweet sincerity once more. Let my feet seek my child and my hands, once more, secure her with my warmth. Let my soul, once more, be overwhelmed with thirst for You, oh Lord, and be filled.