I Want My Nevertheless

Defying the odds. Against the wind. Counter-current.

I want those in my life. There are so many parts of me that I know I have difficulty surrendering completely. Where, I must confess, the enemy still has strongholds over me. But the Bible is replete of stories where the impossible became possible. Like - 

Rahab: Lived a prostitute, nevertheless became a forbear of King David
King David: Born a shepherd, nevertheless became a great king
Peter: Raised a fisherman, nevertheless became an apostle to the Jews
Paul: Trained an enemy of Jesus' disciples, nevertheless became the apostle to the Gentiles

I want my nevertheless. I want to defy the odds, to go against the wind, to brave the current and emerge victorious in the arms of Him who has loved me all this time. But as ideal and as inspirational that may all sound, it's not as easy as breathing or as natural as typing words on the computer screen.

Emerging out of the mires of one's making is torturous and agonizing. It demands many tears and countless heartaches. But like the climb up a mountain, the view will be worth it.

Defying the odds, against the wind, counter-current... The list is long and old, with a lot of new entries. There have been items crossed out, by Your grace, over the years but there are also those entries where the ink is still wet from newness. Lord, I want my nevertheless. Be with me today and on the days to come. Thank You, Lord.